I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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