I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
