you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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