dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
