You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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