You're completely useless in the revolution.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
