I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
