You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
