How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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