I must be too annoying 4 u.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize