Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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