So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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