Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
