Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize