Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize