So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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