2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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