I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
