david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize