Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
