Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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