Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
