what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
