I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
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Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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