is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
birth control should be required to get into college
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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