I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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