Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have aggressive nipples.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
