just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
