do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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