I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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