She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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