Soap is not a condiment
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
