the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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