Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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