Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize