dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
