I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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