I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
