And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
