3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
