Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
