take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
