This girl is more easily done than said...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
