why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
