I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
