it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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