We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
if only i could text you this smell
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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