didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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