...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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