i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
