He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
