I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
