Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
