Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
