so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
