The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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