And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
