i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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