good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
